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Gordon, R.M. (2007) I Love You Madly! Workbook: Insight Enhancement about Healthy and Disturbed Love Relations. IAPT Press, Allentown, Pa.

I Love You Madly!

On Passion, Personality and Personal Growth
by Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D

Book Description

What does it take to have a lasting love relationship? Dr. Robert Gordon shows that the course of love is fairly predictable based on the personalities and histories of the lovers. Only insight and mutual concern can help change this path. He explains the psychology of romantic love from both personal and professional perspectives. Along the way, he integrates evolutionary psychology, psychoanalysis and social psychology in the context of dramatic stories of love and psychotherapy. Learn how to recognize healthy love relations from relationship killers such as narcissism, defensiveness and hostility. I Love You Madly! informs about the science of psychology, yet reads as an entertaining novel.

About the Author

Robert M. Gordon, Ph.D. ABPP is a Diplomate of Clinical Psychology and a Fellow of the Division of Psychoanalysis and served on the governing council of the American Psychological Association. He served as President of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association and received its Distinguished Service Award. He authored of over 30 scholarly journal articles and book chapters. He has a private practice in Allentown, Pennsylvania specializing in psychoanalytic psychotherapy, forensic psychology and MMPI-2 research and workshops.


Table of Contents

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Gina Conti. "Love nots." The Morning Call. 15 Aug 2006.

Gordon says he wrote the book to help people understand ''probably one of the most important things in life — the quality of their intimacy.'' 

''People are happiest when they are in good relationships,'' says Gordon. ''If they're in terrible relationships, they're miserable.''

Through psychotherapy and insight, Gordon says, people begin to have choices. For example, Karen, the patient Gordon chronicles in his book, begins therapy with a defensive attitude and is seemingly unwilling to make a commitment to the intense therapy needed to address her issues with love relationships. Gordon's initial assessment of Karen doesn't include much hope for her improvement. But through therapy, Karen does gain insight about her family and love relationships; the book ends with her seemingly ready to do the work necessary to deal with her love disturbance.

Gordon, 59, hopes ''I Love You Madly!'' will give people a glimpse into what psychotherapy is like and perhaps become adjunct reading material for college psychology courses. A specialist in psychoanalytic psychotherapy and forensic psychology, he is one of the few psychoanalysts in the Lehigh Valley. He calls psychotherapy ''beyond Band-Aid'' therapy — an intense form of therapy whose goal is to make the unconscious conscious so that a person can make better life choices and decisions.



"What makes relationships sizzle - and why do so many fizzle? Dr. Gordon's I LOVE YOU MADLY! admirably addresses both of these thorny, age-old questions. I can't say that the book solves the entire mystery of love - for no book could do that -- but the reader certainly comes away much wiser. I know that I did."


"The wisdom, clinical experience, and humor of the author served him well in writing this book. Doctor Robert M. Gordon has created a highly readable volume in "I Love you Madly!" Reading can never remove the innate risk of being in relationship, be it friendship or romantic love, but "I Love you Madly!" goes a long way to shed light and grace upon the unconscious processes involved in relating to others."

-Brother Bernard Seif, SMC, EdD, NMD

"A remarkable book. Very few psychologists/psychotherapist would reveal and analyze their love relationships - Dr. Gordon does. Hardly any therapists, particularly those who are analytic, have the courage to show exactly what goes on in a therapy session - Dr. Gordon does. And along with this, a theoretical overview of what love relationships are about, and a comprehensive look at personality dynamics. This book offers psychologists and the general public an important understanding of what happens in a love relationship, and how they can go bad. Of particular note is the wonderfully poetic dialogue between two lovers - the grand human tragedy beautifully expressed."

-A. Katz

"Dr. Robert Gordon has created a unique, enlightening, and entertaining exploration of love and human nature. I read it and I loved it."

-Stephen A. Ragusea

"Gordon with his insight and knowledge of the science of psychology weaves between his own romance and his work with a patient with a love disturbance. The reader wonders how each will turn out. It is a great read for therapists, psychology students, patients or anyone who has both loved and lost or suffered the pains and confusion of romantic love."

-Gerd H. Fenchel, Ph.D. Dean/Director, Washington Square Institute for Mental Health and author of Psychoanalytic Reflections on Love and Sexuality, University Press of America.

"Robert Gordon is a psychologist, psychoanalyst, author and speaker.  And he is a man who understands the nature of love.  Speaking from his heart and speaking from his fund of knowledge, he teaches the reader the difference between romantic love and the kind of love that sustains us over the years. If you are in love or searching for it, read this book and heed its wisdom!"

-Daniel Gottlieb, Psychologist and Family Therapist, host of "Voices In The Family" (WHYY Radio) columnist Philadelphia Inquirer, author "Voices In The Family" and "Letters To Sam"

"This is a great book.  The reader learns a lot about love, relationships, psychology, and the usefulness of psychoanalytic psychotherapy.  Although I have been a psychologist for many years, I learned a lot from reading this book. This is a great achievement by Dr. Gordon. It is written so that both professionals and nonprofessionals can read it, and learn from it."

-Russell Eisenman, Ph.D. author of over 200 journal articles and 7 books in psychology.

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